Benedict the Liar

May 15^th brings the release of Pope Benedict XVI's new book, Jesus of Nazareth; a title borne through his own personal search “for the face of the Lord.” Benedict admits, even stresses, that the book is not official Catholic Church doctrine and welcomes criticism as a result--a curious but inadvertent admission that criticism of official doctrine does not hold the same openness to analysis. But I digress.

Cardinal Christoph Schonborn, a long-time friend and ally of Benedict, put in his two cents regarding the presentation of Jesus from the Pope's upcoming book by remarking, “The innumerable fanciful images of Jesus as a revolutionary, as a moderate social reformer, as the secret lover of Mary Magdalene, etc ... can be calmly deposited in the ossuary of history.” Do us a favor and set them atop the Shroud of Turin and the ossuary of James while you tuck them away, Cardinal.

So, it is with his book that the basis for my presumptuous smear, 'Benedict the Liar', originates. His marketing jingle, the prima facie draw he offers to one and all, is that the reader will be exposed to the actual and historical Jesus. The real Jesus has finally stood up; thank you very much, Mr. Ratzinger.

While I have no intention of making an argument here regarding the question of Jesus' historicity—mountains of discussion and articles already exist at SecWeb and other forums detailing this very issue—it needs to be said that Jesus' historicity is anything but certain and, for that matter, anything but evidenced as factually true. We just don't know if the biblical Jesus existed. We can't even say it probable without cracking a wayward smile or feeling a ticklish flutter of uncertainty. Well, we atheists can't.

Quite the contrary, it is with ease that we find an army of theologians and well meaning believers who firmly and exuberantly uphold the notion of a historical Jesus as being nearly beyond question. Straight faces and all.

Benedict, for his part, is no slacker when it comes to confidently claiming the actuality of our friend, biblical Jesus. He boldly states, "Yes, it really happened. Jesus is not a myth. He is a man made of flesh and blood, a totally real presence in history."

With this it must be realized that Benedict is a stunning liar. He, more than perhaps any person on the planet, must be apprised to the fullest extent regarding the depths of our knowledge about the historicity of the man-god, Jesus. Who else might we suspect as more informed than Benedict, regarding the evidence? Yet, all this really means is that Benedict knows as much regarding the real Jesus as you or I. Nothing at all, in other words. Direct evidence upholding Jesus as an actual and once living person simply does not exist. Never mind the miracles. Never mind that no one can provide a definitive summary for what the real Jesus was like, what he did, or what he may have actually preached.

Two thousand years of myth, manipulation, distortion, politics, and fracturing of the Christian religion itself have led to innumerable layers of story telling about Jesus--and for all of that, there is no one alive who could feasibly decipher what is or is not true about historical Jesus, should he ever have existed in the first place. Modern Christians seem almost universally unaware that their earliest brethren engaged in heated debate and conflict as to this very same topic. From the get-go, the veracity of Jesus as an actual man was called into question, and this by early Christians themselves.

Benedict representing his version of Jesus as historically accurate is therefore less than honest. It is a downright lie, in fact. An understandable deception, perhaps, in light of the fact that Benedict is Grand Pooh-Bah to millions of Catholic Christians worldwide, but a lie nonetheless.

Meanwhile, we do know an awful lot about 'alleged' Jesus, a topic of keen interest to Benedict. He has spent years railing against proponents and versions of 'alleged' Jesus that he has found most reprehensible.

Still, a cornucopia of 'alleged' Jesus persist and flourish: Liberal Jesus. Reformer Jesus. Rebel Jesus. Not a Jew, Jesus. Black Jesus. White Jesus. Three-gods-in-one, Jesus. The not-a-god-at-all, Jesus. The wave-walker, wine-maker, and virgin-born, Jesus. Gentle Jesus. The love-me-or-burn-in-hellfire, Jesus. Jesus on toast, Jesus. Gay Jesus. Straight Jesus. Celibate Jesus. Beat to a pulp Mel Gibson, Jesus. The Jesus came to America I swear it, Jesus. Don't forget the controversial Westboro, Jesus hates fags, Jesus. Even the 'he never existed' but 'what a great story' Jesus manages to rear his ugly head, from time to time.

Yes, 'alleged' Jesus we know a substantial amount about; feel free to pick a variant with greatest personal appeal. Make up your own, if necessary. Whatever you come up with can hardly be less evidenced or more unbelievable than the many which already exist, including, I might add, Benedict's. Put him on toast, when you feel ready--that alone will knock your Jesus up on the evidence ladder.

Not surprisingly, 'alleged' Jesus seems a significant part of Benedict's frustrated and ongoing outspokenness as Pope, and presumably lay central to his motivation in searching for the “face of Jesus” in the first place.

Yet, when you really start thinking about Benedict's new book, the culminating point of his search, you have to consider that this actually sounds quite odd coming from a reigning Pope. Why search, after all, if not to uncover a previously hidden and unknown Jesus? Just what sort of tripe about Jesus have Christians been teaching to everyone in the meantime? The very premise of Benedict's offer, to reveal the “face of Jesus”, seems to be loaded with all sort of unsavory questions about the historicity of Jesus, and what the Pope won't be telling us in his book.

One unsavory thought that comes to mind is that we must assume Jesus to have been a befuddled mystery even to Benedict, at least until his search ended and his book completed. Fortunately for us all, his examination required a mere half decade to complete. Zillion's of Catholics around the world may now rest easy knowing that Jesus is no longer an enigma; nor to their Pope, more importantly. The search is finally over...right?

It also seems to be a stark repudiation, by Benedict, that the previous Pope had lingered too long and too carelessly on his watch over Jesus, having permitted the public to run rampant with views counter to the one Benedict holds in appreciation—the actual Jesus, if you haven't been following along.

Benedict's intention is not to raise discussion about the historicity of Jesus, but simply to confidently affirm it, lack of evidence be damned, while elevating his particular version for the masses to embrace. There may, as a result, be some tremendously good and new Christian fiction to be found within it's pages. Even we atheists have something to look forward too, in other words.

I must admit that it is a bit early to make such bold statements, considering that the book is yet to arrive on book stands. This also means that I also have to admit that it may be a bit early to call Benedict a liar. After all, he may offer the unexpected admission that his Jesus is really just another 'alleged Jesus', but that he'd prefer you to engage his version instead of those other more appealing but sinfully erroneous ones. For the sake of your misguided soul and all that.

It is also within the realm of possibility that Benedict will provide all this by way of popular comparative example--such as suggesting that the evidence for historical Jesus is roughly equivalent to that for the existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It could happen, you know. Besides, I bet Benedict would look spectacular with a pirate hat instead of that dumpy out of style miter Popes are forced to wear. Surely the same thought has crossed his mind at least once by now.

However, given that Benedict's buddy, the Cardinal, has had prior access to the book, and therefore was able to establish such confidence in Benedict's Jesus as being capable of putting all other alleged forms of Jesus to rest, it sadly seems to indicate that no mention of the Flying Spaghetti monster will be found inside. Such a shame, that being the case.

No, Benedict is in fact and instead making a clear claim to represent and reveal the historical Jesus better than his careless predecessors. Thanks to his keen research and insight alongside the--ahem--overwhelming preponderance of evidence, he will offer a comprehensibly believable, factually knowable, and once-and-for-all Jesus for our precarious salvation. Which is just another way of saying, Benedict is a liar.